The opportunities for worrying are endless. Just when I think I have all my ducks in a row, everything is tied down and ready for a smooth ride, out of nowhere something comes up and fires up against my serenity. It could be anything. And anything is really the rule if you think about it. My daughter tells me that I don’t like anything messing with my comfort. Well yes, that is so true. Expecting life to be always comfortable is definitely naive. But I do it. And I feel that resentment coming up if any one or anything messes with it. So what to do.
I try to remember that I am a soul living inside the Life of God, that God is present for me and that I am not strong enough on my own do combat every potential worry life presents. Every threat that lurks out there, every political mess, every change in the weather of the economy, every nutty or mean person that happens to cross my path, every unforeseen circumstance that comes my way. Life on earth although gorgeous and inspiring is very dicey. Life in the body although beautiful and sensuous is also very difficult, especially as I get older. Aches, pains, unpleasant diagnosis and the relentless down hill path to the barn of the next life; all of this is always there. And, I am not built to cope with life without help. Who is?
I am the weak one, the vulnerable one. I have my strengths to be sure and on many days I feel on top of my game, but always if I am sensitive to my self and honest, there is that niggling feeling, that by myself, I am dancing on thin ice. In my heart now I know that if I can acknowledge my weakness, accept my vulnerability, knowing that I cannot beat the world at its own game I can be given strength. When I feel the worries piling up I know it is time to turn to the loving compassionate Presence of God to renew my strength and to remind me; that I am not designed to do it alone, that it is ok to be vulnerable, and that I can trust, and rest in the strength of Christ. Much easier to talk about than do yes…for sure…but over the years, after being beat down by the world on enough occasions I have found my saving grace in this way.
Now I so much love to be around friends and colleagues who don’t have to do such battle with the world. Who have faith in the Loving Presence of Christ and who can turn to Him. Knowing them helps me. I love the feeling of not having to always be right, to do it all, but only to do what I can, to express my authentic self, and to deepen my relationship with the One Who Helps, who forgives, who holds me in love.
Maybe you can relate to what I’m saying. There will always be something to worry about. That is how the world is. But join me. Hear the subtle breeze at your back and Turn with me. Maybe we can help each other.
“When true simplicity is gained,
To bow and to bend we shan’t be ashamed,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning we come ’round right” (From the Shaker hymn)
Until next time.